Two month Check-in: Lessons of the heart

Hard to believe it's only been two months that we've been home together as family! In that short time so much has changed. Harry is learning to speak at warp speed and embraces all things American. Well ALMOST all things. While he now drinks three full glasses of milk a day, we're pretty sure it doesn't make his list of top 100 things he loves most... Yeah, I've got a list a mile long of how much progress he's made, how many hurdles he's overcome, and how many things he is learning to do.

In truth, the most important things he has learned will never be measured on an SAT test, or for that matter, may not be apparent to many. Of all that he has learned, what touches my heart the most is what his own little heart is learning. When he comes to me crying after skinning his knee, and welcomes the comfort , he is learning compassion. Waiting for his turn in Candyland is teaching him patience. Each time he wakes up to a bed that is a bit wet, he learns tolerance and acceptance. When he asks for "just one more" hug before bed at night, he's learning to the joy of touch. When his brother apologizes to him for sticking his tongue out at him, and he responds with " sokay" (one word), he's reminded that as a Christian, we must always forgive. When he reminds someone that we must pray before we eat, he's learning we must in all things be thankful (and shortly thereafter when he says excuse me when he belches, he's learning manners.) When he climbs into bed on a lazy Saturday morning and jockeys for a spot between Mommy, Poppa, Skip and Sabaka, he is learning that he will forever be a part of this family, and therefore there's always room for him.

Perhaps the most important thing he has learned is that when he goes outside in 85 degree weather with a tank top, shorts, no shoes, TWO pair of sunglasses and a pair of winter gloves, we may laugh for a minute, but love his just the same. Unconditional love. I can't think of anything more important.

YES!

Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name;
make known his deeds among the peoples!
Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works!

—Psalm 105:1-2

Dr. Russell called and said Harry's results were absolutely normal! It apparently was a false positive! Thank you, Lord for answering our prayers! It's back to life as chaotically normal for us!

Harry Talk

Just another post in a series of funny things Harry says.

Me (to Harry after he fell and bumped his head - again - while outside playing): What happened to your head buddy?
Harry: hurtyourself
Me: you mean 'hurt myself"
Harry: Silly Mommy. Mommy not hurt, Harry hurt.

Me:  Harry, do you want a banana
Harry: Yep. I lika banana.

Harry to his cousin Mandie: 'cuse me!
Mandie: Why do you keep saying that Harry?
Harry: Mommy talk like this!
(He's right! It's my general response when the boys do or say something inappropriate!"

Me to Harry who is outside on the deck with his umbrella open: Harry, come inside now, it's raining.
Harry: Why? I lika play outside.
Me: I know but its raining outside.
Harry: It ne (not) raining.
Me: Then how come you have your umbrella
Harry - Um,, I don't know.

The cloud still looms...

This afternoon we took Harry to Boston's Mass General Hospital's Pediatric Gastroenterology Division for further evaluation. The Doctor was very nice and kept telling us not to worry yet, since 1 out of 5 people get a false positve reading, and that in kids, that number is actually higher (more like 2 of 5 kids). Anyway, we filled out a long detailed medical background report, and they received paperwork from the Pediatricians office. He checked Harry out from head to toe, and then gave us some information on Hep C. Nothing that we didnt' already find out online, but, sometimes hearing it from a real person validates it all. He said a good sign is that his liver is perfectly normal, and absolutely no signs of elevated levels. BUT, it doesn't mean we're out of the woods of course, and arranged for Harry to have more blood drawn. He told us the results would be back by next Wednesday, and that he'd talk to us then. We then went to the lab and poor Harry had another 4 vials of blood taken. He was fine til he saw the gloves go on the tech. He cried just a few seconds, and once the needle was in, he was okay. He was quite brave, actually. I did promise him ice cream though, so from there we walked over to the main building and treated ourselves to some cones. Vanilla for Harry, M & M for Skip, Maple Walnut for me, and for Mike - Almond Joy. Yummy. By then it was dinner time and we drove (or should I say drove and stopped through rush hour traffic), arriving home safe and sound. So, we don't know anything more than we did yesterday, and while we wait for results, we'll just go about our normal, crazy, chaotic lives...

Going in opposite directions...

Those of you who have followed our adoption journey will remember that when Mike and I arrived at the Baby Home in Angarsk, Russia, last fall for the first of our two "court date" trips, Harry was less than thrilled. We hadn't seen him for a year and 9 months, and during that time, he settled himself into life at Baby Home #2. He had spent a good chunk (more than a year) in the same group and had become attached not only to the caregivers, but had established himself as one of the leaders, being given privileges that the others didn't have. He was (and is) hardworking and eager to help, so he found himself in a very nice position so to speak. If the caregivers needed someone to bring someone something, or do something like unlock a closet, it was Harry who got the nod. May not sound like much, but to a group of children whose days are a routine as the day is long; it's huge. ANYTHING that strays from the daily drill, is something they all crave.

And so, when this crazy speaking American couple and their 5-3/4 year old son arrived on the scene to claim their "little" boy, it wasn't pretty. Each day when we visited, the second he spotted us, he'd run - in the opposite direction. This happened 3/4 of the way into our 7 week visit. After that, he stopped running, but didn't exactly run TO us either. Let's just say he tolerated us.

Fast forward 6 months. During that time we left him again, returned home for Thanksgiving & Christmas, and then showed up again like a bad rash that just wouldn't go away. From his perspective that is. But this time, after 3-weeks of daily visits, we took him away from the Baby Home. I must say he embraced the move, and while it was pretty much "keep your distance" during the second 7-week stay, he slowly began to bond.

Yesterday I arrived home after a 2 hour dentist/errand run, and stood at the top of the driveway, looking into the backyard, watching him play in the sandbox with Skip. Guess what? He noticed me and ran. And when he ran as quickly as his little legs could take him, straight into my arms, yelling "Hi Mommy", my heart bursting with joy. The cool thing is, yesterday wasn't an isolated incident. Each time I leave him, even for an hour, he is just as thrilled to see me, and greets me in the same way. I guess you can say we're bonded.

As the saying goes, "it doesn't get any better".

You can't judge a book by it's cover...

...and you certainly can't judge a snack by it's wrapper. A few days ago at bedtime, Mike was getting the boys their snacks when I heard what quickly was turning into a battle. Seems Mike wouldn't let Harry have his choice of snacks. Why? Well the snack Harry had his sights on was, in fact. an 8-lb ham. You see the ham, wrapped in bright red foil, as Carando's usually are, just looked really, really good to Harry. I think he thought it was giant Hershey Kiss or something, because he REALLY was disappointed when Mike told him no. He sulked, but settled for a banana!


And then today it was me who got to tell him no to his choice for a snack. Nope, not a ham again but something just as unusual...

Yep, it's an ice pak! Apparently it looked good to Harry. This time he didn't argue - I think he' getting used to the fact that his choices aren't always what HE thinks they are....

Harry Speak

Me: (While showing him the choices) Harry, would you like chocolate or vanilla ice cream?

Harry: (After checking out both containers) One-nella.



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Levi: Harry, would you like some sweet & stinky sauce with your chicken nuggets?

Harry: Yes! Harry like stinky sauce!


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Me (as I flip through the channels, trying to find something appropriate for Harry) Hmmm, I don't think there is anything on t.v. right now

Harry (after I passed some Nick show intended for a much older audience) Harry like this.

Me: Sorry Harry, there's nothing on. That show is garbage.

Harry: Harry like garbage!

You don't think you're coming near me with that thing, do you? a.k.a. Harry's first haircut

Today after having a lunch date with his sister Devin, Harry got his first "real" haircut. I'm sure he'll forget this special occasion, but neither the poor hairdresser, nor I will! You see there's only one thing Harry hates more than hair dryers and hand dryers you find in public restrooms - hair clippers! Of course I knew about the hot air blowing machines, the clippers I didn't - or else I would have let Mike take him :) Actually it wasn't as bad as I'm making it sound - but when I say he shook when the clippers came within an inch of him, I'm NOT exaggerating! He did not like that! Eventually she was able to buzz the bottom 1/2 of his head, and move on to the scissor part. THAT he didn't mind so much. Eventually the tears dried and he sat long enough for her to finish up and he was free to sit and wait for Skip to be done. Of course when she took the hair dryer out and tried to blow the stray hair off his neck, he nearly shot through the ceiling..At least THAT was an optional step - one we promptly nixed. He was happy to get off the chair, and even happier when he realized there was a reward for all the trauma...a lollipop. THAT he liked. He also liked admiring himself in the mirror. Once Skip, now a veteran at this stuff, was done - both boys posed for the camera while their enjoyed their rewards. Best part was since both boys had different stylists, we were in and out in 20 minutes! Time left over to drop by the bookstore and pick up some birthday books for Abby - and then browse a bit. Something BOTH boys really like - sitting on the floor in the kid's section of Barnes & Noble and looking at all the great books that catch their eyes A haircut and book browsin'...their are worse ways to spend a rainy Friday!

Okay, this is NOT fun.

REALLY not fun!

If I stop crying, will you put that thing away?

Okay, I'm not crying...are we done?
Yep, I like this part better.

Hey, I really am one cute little boy!

So how's yours coming, Skip? I'm done!

One last peek at the handsome boy...

I'll be done in a minute too!

It wasn't so bad.

And the lollipops make it worth it! (Even though they got the same haircut - notice the difference in hair color makes in the picture)

Maybe next time I'll have them take a little more off the top!

 

Two things to note: The scar from his fall down the hill several weeks ago (in the exact same spot as Skip's scar AND his hair in the front is now all the same length and you can no longer tell he tried to cut his own hair while we were still in Russia! (His nose is still a bit friction burned from the same incident, but clearing up, slowly.)