One Month Check-in

Hard to believe but today makes exactly one month that we have been home with Harry! At times it seems it was just a few days ago (partly due to the fact that the first week I was sorta in haze - as I was last fall when I returned from my first 2 month stint in Angarsk) yet at times its hard to imagine our life without him!

I thought for comparison purposes I'd do a then (day we arrived home) and now (today)- to show what progress he's made:

Then:

• Harry spoke in Russian 80% of the time, when trying to convey a message to us, though sometimes in "broken Russian" as we called it – that is, some Russian with some English thrown in .
• He likely understood about 50% of what was said to him.
  
• He liked repeating what we said, but unprompted and unprovoked, had a vocabulary of about 35 words/mini-phrases he would use. He could sometimes put two words together to make a "sentence".
  
• His favorite word by far was "No", followed by "Sto?" (what?)and his favorite phrase was "Michael, NO!"
  
• He called us Momma & Poppa, and insisted on calling Skip "Michael".
  
• When asked, he would say his name was 'arry Ocar Gomes Caturd.
  
• He weighed 36 lbs and was 41" tall.
  
• He was uncomfortable with physical contact, however occasionally he'd allow us to hug him. Kissing him was not allowed unless he was asleep!! Holding him only occurred as a means of calming him when he was misbehaving and he clearly did not like it.
  
• He likely was sent to "Sit" (Time out) a dozen times a day or so. Not for major infractions, but as a means of teaching him some behaviors weren't allowed. He had a hard time understanding what this "Sit" thing was all about and when made to go to timeout he would try to get up at least a dozen times before he realized we meant business.
  
• Once he did sit out, he'd sulk for quite awhile before resuming any activity or conversation.
  
• He often viewed Skip as competition, and constantly pointed out when something was his as opposed to Skips. Sharing was difficult, but was learning.
  
• His favorite foods were bananas, applesauce, yogurt & pasta. He would almost always pass up ice cream or cookies for a banana.
  
• There was little he would eat for breakfast other than fruit & yogurt, and he disliked milk with a passion. Having started out giving him a tsp. at a time, he would tolerate about 1 Tablespoon of milk at breakfast and dinner, before he was rewarded with his tall glass of juice.
  
• He found it difficult to sit at the table at mealtime without trying to get to play or insist on HAVING to go to the bathroom, etc. At prayer time, he'd do little more than watch us with our bowed heads.
  
• Sleep time was an effort. He'd take a long time to fall asleep generally, and he'd argue to have the tv/dvd on. Bathroom runs, and requests for toys to bring to bed with him were routine, although he had taken nicely to a stuffed dog and almost always slept with him.
  
• Any change in schedule confused Harry, and he'd get over stimulated with any new surroundings/activities.
  
• He had little experience playing games. Old Maid was the only one he understood. His only exposure to video games was a cheap instant video game toy you hook up to a tv set and play basic games like pac man, etc.
  
• He seemed to prefer lots of background noise no matter what the circumstance. He HAD to turn on every electronic toy within touching distance or he wasn't happy.
  
• When the phone rang, he'd make a mad dash to it and pick it up if he beat us to it (which was most of the time)
  
• While he knew we were his family, it was a toss-up whether (in my mind at least) he was feelin' any attachment a child normally does to a parent.
  
• For fun, Harry loved playing with cars of any shape or size. He also loved vacuuming, washing the floors, and helping with laundry.
  

TODAY:

• Harry speaks (or tries to at least) English MOST of the time – Now he attempts to speak in ENGLISH 80% of the time I'd say.
  
• I'd say he understand 95% of what is told to him/asked of him, as evidenced by the appropriate answers/actions he takes.
  
• His vocabulary grows daily - by leaps and bounds - and he can put phrases together pretty well. He picks up phrases that we use alot rather quickly and then uses them appropriately for the most part. "Wait a minute", "One second", "please stop that" "Harry go upside (outside)? "to name just a few. Last night at dinner, after finishing his plate, he made a muscle and said "Skip, Look at dis, Harry big".
  
• His favorite words these days are "OH!" "Huh?" "not yet" and "I dunno".
  
• He calls us "Mommy & Poppa" and for the most part, Skip is Skip. That is, unless Harry's not annoyed with him, at which point its "MI-chael"
  
• When asked he'll tell you his name is Harry Oscar Holmes Toid – hey that's an improvement!
  
• Harry weighs 37 lbs and is 42" tall. Gained a pound, and an inch!
  
• He has become quite the loveable little guy, asking us many times a day "Hug?" "Kiss?". He very much likes to cuddle! Last week, out of the blue he came up to me, put his arms around my neck and said "I love you mommy". As you might expect, I melted. If he had his choice, he'd sit on my lap and be rocked to sleep every night. I do it on occasion just because it's something he's never known, but for the most part, when it's sleep time, I'll hand him off to Mike because a night time routine, in our opinion is essential. I do rock him when I can though - any time of day. Just because. No reasons, no excuses. I love it!
  
• When misbehaving, we can simply send him to "Sit" and he goes to the bedroom where he sits is a kid sized chair shaped like a dump truck. For the most part, no argument. If he's overtired or really upset, we still may need to bring him there, but once seated, he sits and waits for us to tell him he can get up. His understanding is at a level we can then explain to him in simple terms the reason for the timeout and he'll then apologize when prompted to. Timeouts, thankfully are rare these days and I haven't had to hold him as a means of discipline since the first week we go home!
  
• As was always the dream, he has come to realize Skip is not a threat, but an ally and for the most part, he enjoys his brothers companionship. 90% of the time they are WONDERFUL together, and the other 10%, well, they're normal brothers!
  
• Today his favorite two foods are still, bananas & pasta. He has embraced however American Food, eating almost everything we give him, save vegetables. Those he's slowly learning to appreciate. Applesauce & yogurt are still very high on the list. He still passes up most food for bananas, but on occasion he'll surprise us.
  
• Breakfast is no longer a problem with Harry. He'll eat ANYTHING. He loves pancakes, scrambled or hard-boiled eggs, French toast, cereal (with very little milk) with fruit, oatmeal, etc. We do have fresh fruit almost every day with breakfast in one form or another. Fruit salad, sliced fruit, whole fruit. In a typical day he'll eat approx. 4 pieces of fruit such as: a few bananas, a pear, a bowl of strawberries. Haven't met a fruit he doesn't like, yet.
  
• Harry now will (reluctantly) drink ½ cup of milk with breakfast & dinner! BIG progress! He's not thrilled, but does. Calcium enriched vitamins and daily snacks of yogurt & cheese help round out his calcium intake.
  
• Sitting at meal time is not an issue. From day one we've used a booster seat for him, which makes it a little more difficult to get up and down J, but he's come to understand we sit at mealtime til we're done. He now fully participates in prayer, and is great about reminding us not to start before we "pray Amen". He can recite a lot of the prayer Skip typically recites, and fakes his way through the words he doesn't know. He ALWAYS gives us a resounding " Jesus name, Amen" at the end, which, for some reason is followed by "EAT!"… We'll work on that.
  
• Sleep is better, though not issue free. He has become very attached to me (follows me around ALL day like a shadow) and is having to get used to the idea that it is Mike that does the night time bedtime routine (baths, snack, teeth, books, lights out). In the past week he's gotten a lot better and doesn't normally cry for me to do it. He doesn't like sleeping alone in the bedroom though. If he wakes up and Skip has migrated to our room, we suddenly have four of us squeezed into a queen size bed. Joy! (Not!)
  
• While we strive to have a basic daily routine here, we're not rigid with it. I do believe it's important, but not to the point that everything occurs at EXACTLY the same time each day. Realistically, there are times we must stray from it, but Harry adapts pretty well. He still gets over stimulated with new people, but nothing compared to when we first got home.
  
• Harry is learning to enjoy games. We play Memory game a lot, and he's quite good at it. Skip has always been a whiz at it, and we were pleasantly surprised to learn is following in his footsteps. On occasion he'll play Wii with Skip, but since video time in this house is rather limited, it's not a huge draw for him. He prefers more hands on activities.
  
• The need for background noise has decreased considerably, which makes me VERY happy. It's one thing I really don't do well with. I prefer a lower level of noise, and I think he's realizing that it doesn't have to be loud to be fun.
  
• Harry is pretty good about not answering the phone unless we see the ID and tell him he can answer. He forgets sometimes and picks it up, but he's made huge strides! He does love to talk on the phone, so we let him whenever we can. Yesterday Mike called from work and I let him answer. This is what I heard. "Hello poppa" "How are you" "Harry workin" (he was helping me vacuum) Sabaka bad boy (the dog chases the vacuum"…. Not too shabby I'd say!
  
• Harry has woven his way into this family, and more importantly, has allowed us to weave ourselves into his little heart. He is most attached to me – more like superglued. The other morning when Gram came over to babysit so I could go to the dentist, he cried (screamed actually) when I had to leave. He watched me from the dining room window, crying "Mommy" and then moved to the living room window as I backed out of the driveway. He did stop within a minute or so, but its clear the bond is there. When Levi or Mike arrive home after work, he goes running, yelling their names and jumps into their arms. Good stuff. Really good stuff!
  
• As for fun, he loves his cars still, but has added trains, planes and trucks to his list of favorites. He especially likes a huge Playmobil airplane his Nana gave him, and a moving Hess flatbed & helicopter that belongs to Skip. He's learning some toys are his, some Skips, some they share. He is getting pretty good about asking before he plays with the toys that are Skips. I am pleased to report he still loves to vacuum, wash floors, and do laundry with me. He also loves to help bring groceries in the house. His daily chores include emptying upstairs trash, helping set the table for dinner, putting the recycling out, and vacuuming on alternating days. The chore chart is HUGE in this house, with both boys!

The boy we arrived home with is slowly slipping away, and becoming a loveable, bright, confident, comical little guy. Harry amazes me with his resilience, and his love of life. Each day brings a new adventure, and he is living life to the fullest. Since being home he has had many firsts; first night in his bunk bed, first time being rocked to sleep when he wasn't feeling well, first time worshiping in church, first trip to both the dentist and the pediatrician, first time running around in his own yard, first time swimming, first mini-vacation, first time in a car seat, first visit to Grammy's house, first family bike ride, etc. etc, etc. While our days are long and busy, the void we'd felt for so long has been filled, and now there is simply a sense of wholeness. Our family IS complete. Praise God!