The kindness of friends & strangers...

Our lives were turned upside down Friday. Not that disappointment is anything new to us in regards to this adoption, but deep in our hearts we thought our journey was over when we went to court on Friday…

On Saturday we started to sort through our options, and decided Mike would return home on the 28th – the first day he was able to exchange his ticket for, without paying $2000! Levi is returning on the 24th, but had to pay $700 to exchange his ticket.

As for me…things remain up in the air. However, the kindness of both friends and virtual strangers, has touched my heart, and easing the pain…

Several of you have emailed and offered your support. It means A LOT! While this dial-up connection doesn’t always cooperate, and we can’t always email back, please know how much your mail has meant!

On Saturday, we visited Harry for an hour and a half in the morning. It was hard, since I thought the next time I arrived at Baby Home 2, it would be to bring him home. Instead we played outside, then inside a bit. The caregivers apparently hadn’t heard the news, and as we were trying to explain to them what happened, another facilitator came in and told them for us. They were clearly upset, and tried to express that to us.

After we got back to the apt. Kirsten & Vince, who are here visiting their little girl Tatiana, came by the apartment to see us before they left. They volunteered to bring lunch for us, and they sure did. A rotisserie chicken, ham, cheese, salad, fruit, and all the fixins. It was great to sit and share our pain with people who understand it, as they have waited just as long for their daughter. Before they left, Kirsten gave me a gift! Her coat! You see she forgot to bring her winter coat on the trip (gee, I don’t know why – it was only 80F in Atlanta when they left home a week ago!), and picked one up at a second hand store when she got here. Since they were leaving this morning, and I mentioned that IF I choose to stay, I will need to buy a heavier coat, she literally took it off and handed it to me as they were leaving!

The rest of the day was blah. We did as little as possible. The joy has gone, and we attempted to gain some of it back, as we sort through not only the choices we must make, but our emotions.

This morning we were slow to get motivated again. We decided to visit Harry in the afternoon, so were just being lazy when Irina called to say she had reserved two bowling lanes for us all at 5:00, and wanted to know if that sounded good. It was already too late to visit him in the morning, and really wanted to visit later in the day, so suggested we go at 6:00 instead. She said she’d call the place to see if that was okay. She called right back to say they were all booked up, so it would have to be 5, or we could go another time. We talked about it, and decided we’d go to see Harry a little earlier than usual in the afternoon, and they would pick us up there right before 5, and drive us to the bowling alley. We did thin it was odd, however, that ALL the lanes were taken, but then again, many things here in Russia are different….

Around 11 we walked to the grocery store in the rain – all 4 of us – then came home and got a late lunch ready. We took the trolley to visit Harry after his nap. It was quiet in the building as it usually is on the weekends. When we arrived at Groupa 5, we were surprised to find 4 caregivers rather than the normal 2, sitting with the kids watching a video. They quickly showed us to the sleeping room so we could visit. Then, they came in with 2 cups of tea, a plate of cookies, a dish of candies and a little teapot for Mike and I. They have NEVER done this before. We figure by now everyone knows about court, and perhaps they felt bad. It showed in their eyes. In fact, one of the women – one I’d never seen before, made a point of having Harry giving us huge hugs and kisses when we arrived. Perhaps this was her way of showing the kindness she had in her heart. It is clear the staff is disappointed with the judge as well, and they really tried to show it.

Since Harry was doing his “Ne hochay” thing at first, Mike and I sat to have our tea. No sooner than we sat down, another caregiver came in with two plates with what looked like some kinda spice cake on them for us. I took a huge bite – then promptly spit it out. It was salmon patties! Ugh! I found a plastic baggie in my magical bag of tricks and hid the evidence. Harry came around quickly, so we finished our tea and started to play. Again, another caregiver came in and asked us what we thought was “are you done with the tea”. We nodded yes, just as Levi informed us she had asked if we wanted more…I prayed they didn’t bring any more salmon – my baggie was full! No salmon, just another teapot, milk for the tea, and a water boiling tea thing that they use to prepare the tea – in case, apparently we wanted more. It is truly humbly to see such compassion from these women!

The visit was short, and soon enough Irina and Vova picked us up at the Baby Home so we could all go bowling. They had already dropped their daughter Ksusha, and niece Nastia at the place since the car doesn’t fit us all. The bowling alley had a big honkin’ bowling pin on the sign. It looked “normal”. When we went inside though, it was strange. We had to check our coats (what is it about Russians & coat checking?), walked through a marble lobby past a HUGE pool room, a bar, a VERY FANCY restaurant, and several other doors with signs I couldn’t come close to reading. We went down a DEEP stairway to the bowling alley. It was immediately clear why they couldn’t change our reservation. There were only 6 lanes! A really classy place, I must say. You pass a snack bar with alcohol & “regular” food and drink then get to the shoe rental booth. There are only about 3 dozens shoes available, all in neat little plastic bins. Each bin contains the shoes and a set of clear shoe covers! They go over your socks before you put your shoes on. (Russian LOVE their shoe covers!) Once we all got our shoes, we went to our lanes, and spent an hour bowling away. They have electronic scoring, and your names show up on a board behind you. The place had a 70’s disco feel, but clearly a new establishment, and well maintained. They rent by the hour - $300 rubles per lane. About $12 USD. It was fun, and a great stress reliever. After we left, Irina told us some more news. She said the owner of the apt. we’re staying in had called to inquire about our plans. Irina explained the whole mess to her. She felt really bad, and offered to only charge me $20.00 a day, from the 28th – the day Mike leaves, til the 7th of November (or MAYBE longer). She said she wouldn’t charge us anything, except; she has to cover her expenses as far as phone & cable. We don’t know the woman; she is a friend of Irina. Again, the kindness amazes us.

Tomorrow we get a copy of the court definition, and an update from the attorney as to the process. I will play it by ear this week, and see how it all goes. Whether or not their seems to be steady progress will be a deciding factor for me. For now, however, it’s one day at a time – and at times, one hour at a time…

Willing the last pin to fall down!

Skip's slightly unorthodox style.

Nastia on the left, Mike on the right.

Irina's head tell us how she wants the ball to go!

Vova, Ksusha, Irina & Nastia

Taking his best shot...

I'm waiting for it!

I got it, and now I'm gonna hide it behind my back and pretend I don't know where it is!