"I don't have a father anymore"

As discouraging as it can be when Harry screams and runs the other way when we come to visit, yesterday and today we learned a few things from the staff at the BH that puts it all into perspective...

First of all, yesterday we learned that a short time ago a man (Russian) came to visit his son who is in Harry's group. THis is not uncommon as families sometimes place their kids here temporarily - until they can afford to take them home.

Anyway, while the man was there, another boy went up to him and said that he too had a father. Hearing this, Harry went over and clarified. "No you don't" Harry said "Tell the truth" he demanded from this child, "You don't have a father - and neither do I anymore."

At that point Harry began to cry. Hearing what happened, the caregivers took Harry aside and tried to console him. Seems Harry was convinced that his family wasn't coming back! The caregivers stressed to him that we indeed were - and told him we'd be back very soon. That, they said, seemed to comfort him, but since that time, they said, he asked for us more and more.

You see, Harry, being as bright as he is, has built up a wall around him. His appearance of indifference is nothing more than his attempt at protecting himself from being hurt.

In addition to this incident, three friends of his left he group recently - including Egor & Sasha. Out of the blue, Sasha was adopted by a Russian family, who visited him only one day before returning to bring him home. And Egor was suddenly taken to live by an Uncle. So to Harry, he saw two friends leaving with their new families after only one or two visits with them. In his little mind we're sure, he can't figure out he has visited us SO many times, yet we keep leaving him!

Natasha, the caregiver in charge today (and our favorite), told us he truly has missed us since we left in November, and that he asks for us constantly. She also told us that a few days ago, when some local orphanage sponsors visited, he proudly took his family photo album over to each and every person and showed pictures of his momma, poppa, brother Skip, and especially his "Big Brother, Levi"!

It all makes a little more sense to us now, and while we know he'll have additional transitional issues to face once he's home with us, we know that we'll do whatever we need to, to convince him we're NEVER leaving him again!