Mike talking to Irina before the hearing began -in the courtroom.
View of the cell that sits to the left as you enter the courtroom.
panoramic view of the courtroom (Click to enlarge)
It’s taken me nearly a week to be able to sit down and write about our day in court, without getting too emotional, but I’m there.
First off, entering a court house is not unlike entering any Federal building in the US, excpet you must show your passports before you get past the turnstile that leads to the court rooms upstairs.
Secondly a little background. Normally a family appearing in court is told to be well versed in Russian Adoption Law and to be well acquainted with all the documents that have been submitted. Also, we are warned not to show emotion in court. Certainly no crying. We were also told to prepare opening monologues - first the wife then the husband. You are supposed to tell your life story in about 15 minutes time. No notes allowed. You’re also told that each of you need to prepare brief (5 minutes or less) closing statements. We were told that if we wish, just one of us could give a closing statement, but it must be mentioned up front that is the intent. The judge would then ask the other person if they consent. Well we the monologues on the first court visit so that was out of the way. With this judge we didn’t know what to expect, so we were prepared to retell our stories, just in case.
When you get into the courtroom you have to give your passports to the secretary, who puts them on the judges desk. The hearing begins when the court secretary announces the judges arrival and all are required to stand. First she starts with the translator. She’s asked to state her vitals and when she’s done, we are asked if she is indeed our translator – well duh?! So we say yes, and then we’re asked if we have any objections to her being here in court. At that point you’re thinking, “Is this mental health week?” But, ya play along and answer. She does the same for our attorney. The judge then has every one in the courtroom state their names and the purpose of their appearance in the courtroom. Besides Mike and I, Irina and our attorney, there was the Baby Home Director, Representative from the Guardianship Department, the Center for Adoption and the Prosecutor. Then the court secretary reads the list of names of everyone who just stood up and announced their presence. Seems redundant, but…
Before going over any testimony, Judge Stepanova, who wears a black robe with a funny white bow/tie. accepted the two documents she had requested the day before, from our attorney. Every time she takes something or is given an answer, she says "tak".... This time I happened to notice she was wearing pants, not a dress under her robe. I found it amusing because parents are told that the woman must wear a dress and men must wear a suit. accepted the The day before, the Judge said we could have it faxed and then Irina could translate it in court and that is what we expected to happen. Mind you the letter didn’t arrive from the US til 9:00 a.m. when the courthouse turned on it’s fax machine. On the drive over to court however, we got a call from our attorney saying the judge was waiting for Irina to translate the documents. Huh? Irina said we’d be there as soon as humanly possible. Two minutes later another call from the lawyer saying…are you ready…that the Judge wanted her to translate it IN THE CAR ON THE WAY TO COURT! Anyone who has been here knows that the roads are bumpy with lots of twists and turns. Despite the fact we had no paper in the car for her to write on, it was impossible for her to even attempt it. So ever since we got into the court house, Irina was feverishly trying to get them translated by hand. So now the judge was demanding that Irina get them done – in between her verbal translating for us! Talk about putting a person on the spot… We felt so bad for Irina – everyone in court did – well except for the judge.
Since this hearing technically began Thursday when Mike was grilled with questions by the Judge and Prosecutor before the Judge decided to recess so we could get the last document she wanted, on Friday I was required to stand and answer questions. They were not at all leading and the tone wasn’t accusatory or condescending this time. The judge makes very little eye contact, but we’re required to make contact with her or the prosecutor when speaking. I was prepared for the questions, and really wasn’t nervous. I suppose 5 visits will do that to you. After so many recesses and continuances, I think both Mike and I didn’t know what to expect, and instead of being nervous, we were, I suppose, “waiting for the other shoe to drop”. Both the judge and prosecutor seemed fine with my answers, and about a half hour into it, I was “excused” and told to sit. (Don’t forget Irina is writing and translating for us at the same time!) The judge then questioned the three representatives, one by one. After the judge was done with one person, the prosecutor would ask more questions. When the BH director was being questioned, the judge held up a piece of paper. Irina told us it was the form he signs, relinquishing responsibility for the child for the purpose of adoption or foster care. Well our hearts almost stopped when we learned he had made a mistake on Harry’s and had checked the wrong box! He checked the box for “foster care”. Two minutes of heated discussion, and we were dying to find out what they were saying – poor Irina was trying to listen, translate, and write. Then the Dr. walked up to the judges desk and signed something. Irina seemed relieved when she told us the judge was putting it in the record that the Dr. had messed up, and that he was responsible for submitting the correct document within 48 hours. PHEW!
The doctor went on to tell about our visits, and how Harry had been missing us since the fall. Irina had tears in her eyes during one part. She just told us that the Dr. was describing how Harry would cry for us and how it clear he loved and wanted us!
The Center for Adoption as well as the Guardianship representatives gave similar testimony, and told how well we had bonded, and how happy and proud Harry was to know he had a mother and father. Irina said they were very impressed with us and how our family interacted.
At that point the judge began to read all the documents we’d submitted FOUR huge volumes. One by one she read them! It took forever – I think like an hour and a half of her just reading things like applications, homestudy and updates, post-placement reports from Skip, marriage license, agency agreements, FBI checks, INS approval, local police checks, letters of recommendation, ALL the medical reports, etc. EVERYTHING we were required to submit up to this point. When she was done, she asked the prosecutor to speak. She read a long report, stating applicable laws, her take on our application, and then recommended that the adoption be approved, EXCEPT for our request to change his city of birth from Angarsk to Irkutsk. To be honest, for Skip’s adoption our agency told us to do this, stating it was easier to obtain documents from Irkutsk rather than Angarsk, and that it was common practice. So, when we did Harry’s paperwork we did the same. It didn’t mean anything to us, and since he will be re-adopted in Massachusetts so he can have a US birth certificate – it really doesn’t matter.
The three representatives were then asked to give their recommendations. No surprises there. By then it was about 1:15 and the judge asked if WE needed a lunch break. Heck I just wanted to get out of there, and we didn’t want a break, but since Irina’s translation of the last documents was next, Irina asked us to request a 15 minute break. We did, and she continued to finish the document. We just sat around the courtroom waiting, hoping one of the representatives would give us a “look” or “nod” to ease our minds. It didn’t happen so I was a bit nervous then. Poor Irina was writing as fast as she could and when the judge came back in, she had ALMOST finished. She gave the judge what she had, and she started to read aloud. It was almost funny when the judge couldn’t read a word, and would hold the paper really close to her face and mutter under her breath. It wasn’t funny when the judge called Irina up to ask her about a line of text. Apparently she had made a mistake and tried to fix it but the judge, being her kind and patient self, grabbed the paper back and told her the whole page (two sides) should be re-written and demanded to know how much longer she needed. Poor Irina said 30 minutes and the judge marched off… Everyone left the room so Irina could concentrate, and we gave her a bottled water to drink before we too left the room. She was so worked up, I thought she would faint, poor woman. She worked so hard for us, and I hated seeing her being treated this way.
On this break I really needed to get out so we dressed up and went outside. Across from the courthouse is a row of shops so we ducked into a little market and bought some ice cream cones. We ate them as we walked around the block, the snow falling steadily as we made our way around. When we got back inside the courthouse, we again walked through the metal detectors and headed toward the desk where two more guards generally check passports. This time, one of the guards from the metal detectors came over and waived us through. Wow! Generally, only attorneys, staff and courthouse regulars are waived through. YOU KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN TO THE COURT HOUSE TOO MANY TIMES WHEN THE GUARDS RECOGNIZE YOU! Irina managed to redo the documents to the Judge’s satisfaction, thankfully, and we figured we were done with any potential problems. Not so, the judge then started grilling Mike about the fact that our passports do not state a city of birth, but rather, just the state. Not sure where it was going, I just held my breath. She made a comment about how she should have proof of our city of birth which as we stated in earlier were Brockton (Mike) and Fall River (me). She said it would be impossible to write down our cities of birth on Harry’s birth certificate since she had no proof, then waited for Mike to respond. Mind you, she didn’t’ ask, she just made that statement. Irina, while translating, slipped in a “so you might ask then that the city be omitted and just the State of birth be written. The judge neither agreed or disagreed, but the lawyer gave us a thumbs up, so I figured it would be fine. Then, the judge asked Mike when she would get original, notarized and apostilled copies of the two documents we had faxed to her that day. Not knowing exactly where this would go either, he blurted out 14 days. The judge, to my surprise, said that was fine and made a point of saying that he agreed to it in a court of law and would be held responsible.. Whatever!
She then asked for closing statements. Earlier, I asked Mike if he remembered his – the one we had prepared for the first hearing. He said no and said he’d wing it. Well anyone who was at our wedding will recall he thought he’d wing his part of the vows and THAT didn’t’ go as planned, so I recited to him the one I had prepared, and memorized over and over and over again since we arrived back here in January. We also agreed HE could give the speech for both of us. Mike IS a public speaker. He speaks well, and professionally, it is something he prides himself on.
He stood up and gave the speech, but from the opening line, it was clear he was speaking from the heart. When I heard his voice falter, I fought back tears. (Crying in court is a sign of weakness we’d been taught, and for Skip’s adoption, I never cried until AFTER the judge left the room. He didn’t exactly deliver the speech we’d gone over, but, it was very touching, and EVERYONE except the judge was moved. Once he was done, the judge left to make her decision. Again I was looking for a sign – anything – from the others. Nothing. Instead, the attorney told us she hoped it went as we’d hoped. NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR!
A few minutes later the judge returned. Irina translated slowly and I can’t tell you what she said. This is all I heard:
Yada, yada, yada. Yada, yada, yada, yada. Adoption is approved. Yada…
I head approved and I looked upwards and said loud enough for everyone to hear, was “Thank you Father”. Then I cried. Couldn’t help it, didn’t try to stop. Four years we waited for this moment. I cried. Mike cried. EVERYONE had tears. The judges last statement stuck. Something to the effect that the written determination would be ready Tuesday. THE WOMAN NEVER LOOKED AT US WHILE SHE READ. SHE NEVER CONGRATULATED US. As soon as she was done reading, she picked up her papers and left. Then the real crying started. Lots of hugs and congratulations from everyone, including the prosecutor and court secretary.
First off, entering a court house is not unlike entering any Federal building in the US, excpet you must show your passports before you get past the turnstile that leads to the court rooms upstairs.
Secondly a little background. Normally a family appearing in court is told to be well versed in Russian Adoption Law and to be well acquainted with all the documents that have been submitted. Also, we are warned not to show emotion in court. Certainly no crying. We were also told to prepare opening monologues - first the wife then the husband. You are supposed to tell your life story in about 15 minutes time. No notes allowed. You’re also told that each of you need to prepare brief (5 minutes or less) closing statements. We were told that if we wish, just one of us could give a closing statement, but it must be mentioned up front that is the intent. The judge would then ask the other person if they consent. Well we the monologues on the first court visit so that was out of the way. With this judge we didn’t know what to expect, so we were prepared to retell our stories, just in case.
When you get into the courtroom you have to give your passports to the secretary, who puts them on the judges desk. The hearing begins when the court secretary announces the judges arrival and all are required to stand. First she starts with the translator. She’s asked to state her vitals and when she’s done, we are asked if she is indeed our translator – well duh?! So we say yes, and then we’re asked if we have any objections to her being here in court. At that point you’re thinking, “Is this mental health week?” But, ya play along and answer. She does the same for our attorney. The judge then has every one in the courtroom state their names and the purpose of their appearance in the courtroom. Besides Mike and I, Irina and our attorney, there was the Baby Home Director, Representative from the Guardianship Department, the Center for Adoption and the Prosecutor. Then the court secretary reads the list of names of everyone who just stood up and announced their presence. Seems redundant, but…
Before going over any testimony, Judge Stepanova, who wears a black robe with a funny white bow/tie. accepted the two documents she had requested the day before, from our attorney. Every time she takes something or is given an answer, she says "tak".... This time I happened to notice she was wearing pants, not a dress under her robe. I found it amusing because parents are told that the woman must wear a dress and men must wear a suit. accepted the The day before, the Judge said we could have it faxed and then Irina could translate it in court and that is what we expected to happen. Mind you the letter didn’t arrive from the US til 9:00 a.m. when the courthouse turned on it’s fax machine. On the drive over to court however, we got a call from our attorney saying the judge was waiting for Irina to translate the documents. Huh? Irina said we’d be there as soon as humanly possible. Two minutes later another call from the lawyer saying…are you ready…that the Judge wanted her to translate it IN THE CAR ON THE WAY TO COURT! Anyone who has been here knows that the roads are bumpy with lots of twists and turns. Despite the fact we had no paper in the car for her to write on, it was impossible for her to even attempt it. So ever since we got into the court house, Irina was feverishly trying to get them translated by hand. So now the judge was demanding that Irina get them done – in between her verbal translating for us! Talk about putting a person on the spot… We felt so bad for Irina – everyone in court did – well except for the judge.
Since this hearing technically began Thursday when Mike was grilled with questions by the Judge and Prosecutor before the Judge decided to recess so we could get the last document she wanted, on Friday I was required to stand and answer questions. They were not at all leading and the tone wasn’t accusatory or condescending this time. The judge makes very little eye contact, but we’re required to make contact with her or the prosecutor when speaking. I was prepared for the questions, and really wasn’t nervous. I suppose 5 visits will do that to you. After so many recesses and continuances, I think both Mike and I didn’t know what to expect, and instead of being nervous, we were, I suppose, “waiting for the other shoe to drop”. Both the judge and prosecutor seemed fine with my answers, and about a half hour into it, I was “excused” and told to sit. (Don’t forget Irina is writing and translating for us at the same time!) The judge then questioned the three representatives, one by one. After the judge was done with one person, the prosecutor would ask more questions. When the BH director was being questioned, the judge held up a piece of paper. Irina told us it was the form he signs, relinquishing responsibility for the child for the purpose of adoption or foster care. Well our hearts almost stopped when we learned he had made a mistake on Harry’s and had checked the wrong box! He checked the box for “foster care”. Two minutes of heated discussion, and we were dying to find out what they were saying – poor Irina was trying to listen, translate, and write. Then the Dr. walked up to the judges desk and signed something. Irina seemed relieved when she told us the judge was putting it in the record that the Dr. had messed up, and that he was responsible for submitting the correct document within 48 hours. PHEW!
The doctor went on to tell about our visits, and how Harry had been missing us since the fall. Irina had tears in her eyes during one part. She just told us that the Dr. was describing how Harry would cry for us and how it clear he loved and wanted us!
The Center for Adoption as well as the Guardianship representatives gave similar testimony, and told how well we had bonded, and how happy and proud Harry was to know he had a mother and father. Irina said they were very impressed with us and how our family interacted.
At that point the judge began to read all the documents we’d submitted FOUR huge volumes. One by one she read them! It took forever – I think like an hour and a half of her just reading things like applications, homestudy and updates, post-placement reports from Skip, marriage license, agency agreements, FBI checks, INS approval, local police checks, letters of recommendation, ALL the medical reports, etc. EVERYTHING we were required to submit up to this point. When she was done, she asked the prosecutor to speak. She read a long report, stating applicable laws, her take on our application, and then recommended that the adoption be approved, EXCEPT for our request to change his city of birth from Angarsk to Irkutsk. To be honest, for Skip’s adoption our agency told us to do this, stating it was easier to obtain documents from Irkutsk rather than Angarsk, and that it was common practice. So, when we did Harry’s paperwork we did the same. It didn’t mean anything to us, and since he will be re-adopted in Massachusetts so he can have a US birth certificate – it really doesn’t matter.
The three representatives were then asked to give their recommendations. No surprises there. By then it was about 1:15 and the judge asked if WE needed a lunch break. Heck I just wanted to get out of there, and we didn’t want a break, but since Irina’s translation of the last documents was next, Irina asked us to request a 15 minute break. We did, and she continued to finish the document. We just sat around the courtroom waiting, hoping one of the representatives would give us a “look” or “nod” to ease our minds. It didn’t happen so I was a bit nervous then. Poor Irina was writing as fast as she could and when the judge came back in, she had ALMOST finished. She gave the judge what she had, and she started to read aloud. It was almost funny when the judge couldn’t read a word, and would hold the paper really close to her face and mutter under her breath. It wasn’t funny when the judge called Irina up to ask her about a line of text. Apparently she had made a mistake and tried to fix it but the judge, being her kind and patient self, grabbed the paper back and told her the whole page (two sides) should be re-written and demanded to know how much longer she needed. Poor Irina said 30 minutes and the judge marched off… Everyone left the room so Irina could concentrate, and we gave her a bottled water to drink before we too left the room. She was so worked up, I thought she would faint, poor woman. She worked so hard for us, and I hated seeing her being treated this way.
On this break I really needed to get out so we dressed up and went outside. Across from the courthouse is a row of shops so we ducked into a little market and bought some ice cream cones. We ate them as we walked around the block, the snow falling steadily as we made our way around. When we got back inside the courthouse, we again walked through the metal detectors and headed toward the desk where two more guards generally check passports. This time, one of the guards from the metal detectors came over and waived us through. Wow! Generally, only attorneys, staff and courthouse regulars are waived through. YOU KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN TO THE COURT HOUSE TOO MANY TIMES WHEN THE GUARDS RECOGNIZE YOU! Irina managed to redo the documents to the Judge’s satisfaction, thankfully, and we figured we were done with any potential problems. Not so, the judge then started grilling Mike about the fact that our passports do not state a city of birth, but rather, just the state. Not sure where it was going, I just held my breath. She made a comment about how she should have proof of our city of birth which as we stated in earlier were Brockton (Mike) and Fall River (me). She said it would be impossible to write down our cities of birth on Harry’s birth certificate since she had no proof, then waited for Mike to respond. Mind you, she didn’t’ ask, she just made that statement. Irina, while translating, slipped in a “so you might ask then that the city be omitted and just the State of birth be written. The judge neither agreed or disagreed, but the lawyer gave us a thumbs up, so I figured it would be fine. Then, the judge asked Mike when she would get original, notarized and apostilled copies of the two documents we had faxed to her that day. Not knowing exactly where this would go either, he blurted out 14 days. The judge, to my surprise, said that was fine and made a point of saying that he agreed to it in a court of law and would be held responsible.. Whatever!
She then asked for closing statements. Earlier, I asked Mike if he remembered his – the one we had prepared for the first hearing. He said no and said he’d wing it. Well anyone who was at our wedding will recall he thought he’d wing his part of the vows and THAT didn’t’ go as planned, so I recited to him the one I had prepared, and memorized over and over and over again since we arrived back here in January. We also agreed HE could give the speech for both of us. Mike IS a public speaker. He speaks well, and professionally, it is something he prides himself on.
He stood up and gave the speech, but from the opening line, it was clear he was speaking from the heart. When I heard his voice falter, I fought back tears. (Crying in court is a sign of weakness we’d been taught, and for Skip’s adoption, I never cried until AFTER the judge left the room. He didn’t exactly deliver the speech we’d gone over, but, it was very touching, and EVERYONE except the judge was moved. Once he was done, the judge left to make her decision. Again I was looking for a sign – anything – from the others. Nothing. Instead, the attorney told us she hoped it went as we’d hoped. NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR!
A few minutes later the judge returned. Irina translated slowly and I can’t tell you what she said. This is all I heard:
Yada, yada, yada. Yada, yada, yada, yada. Adoption is approved. Yada…
I head approved and I looked upwards and said loud enough for everyone to hear, was “Thank you Father”. Then I cried. Couldn’t help it, didn’t try to stop. Four years we waited for this moment. I cried. Mike cried. EVERYONE had tears. The judges last statement stuck. Something to the effect that the written determination would be ready Tuesday. THE WOMAN NEVER LOOKED AT US WHILE SHE READ. SHE NEVER CONGRATULATED US. As soon as she was done reading, she picked up her papers and left. Then the real crying started. Lots of hugs and congratulations from everyone, including the prosecutor and court secretary.
One thing I want to mention. The court rooms are small, yet intimidating. On Thursday we were in a different court room that looked as if it was a lunch room in a former life. It even had a little fridge! Anyway, I knew I just needed to stay focused, and pray, but with the language barrier, and having to have it all translated, and everything else that was on our minds considering all our court appearances thusfar had left us disappointed, it's hard to concentrate. I decided I needed a focal point, and found it: a cross. The cross was actually the seams of the floor tiles, but one section formed a perfect one! I used that! When we got to this courtroom on Friday, I searched for another cross...and found two. One formed by the cell bars at the top right of the front of it, and the second I found in the pattern of the window panes...They were just what I needed! Everytime I started to stress a bit, I found my focal point and prayed....
The rest of course is now history!
Your story and this blog is amazing.
ReplyDeleteWhat a keepsake this is for you and your family.
One day, the boys will be able to read your story for themselves. Praise God - He is in control of every thing.
Cheryl A.
Wow...what a story. That judge must have a seriously unhappy life if she couldn't find a shard of compassion or joy here. Irina is a saint and you all have incredible endurance. Thank you for sharing your story. I can understand why you needed to wait for awhile. But know that there were many people routing for you. Don't let the judge's actions jeopardize the joy. I haven't been on for a day or so because I actually started a literature blog with my students. We are all reading a novel but then responding to it via blogging. I got the idea from your blog and then got some info at a conference. My only problem is that all of the comments have to be approved by me first- I have approved 145 comments in less than 2 days. It has really gotten them connected to each other and the book....but...whew!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that Mike lost his job. You think they could have maybe told him that so he could have stayed in Russia. You will prevail over this too. I don't think there are two stronger people.
I read this entry the other day before I went to work, but today I had a chance to go back and really read it slowly..... WOW.....
ReplyDelete